Single and Mingling

Like the chocolates in that I Love Lucy episode, a constant stream of thoughts runs through my head, independent of the current time/place/people.  And like Ethel and Lucy - wrapping some chocolates while letting others escape - sometimes I find myself filtering things that I actually want to say, and other times saying things aloud that I mean to keep to myself.

When talking with people, I may respond to a particular subject based on whatever is running in my stream of conscious currently.  Things running through my stream of conscious may include fresh conversations, things I've recently read, and weekly plans. 

This week, the coincidental sujet du jour among friends and acquaintances has been marriage/dating.  For the past few days, I've had conversations with various people about relationships, like: what a serious relationship means, at what age do you envision yourself getting married, is marriage a priority, and when is a relationship considered "too slow" or "too fast"... Consequently, there has been a lot of repeated hypothesizing and explaining and discussing, all on separate occasions.  So I've felt like the topic's been exhausted.

Unfortunately, at the end of this week, the topic of marriage/dating came up again, and my 2-cents was basically, "I'm not a commitment person" and "Marriage...eh."

Which would have been a fine statement... if the people I was talking with had been present for all the other conversations I've had this past week about relationships.  But this was completely out of context, without the background info, and hopefully my seeming distaste for relationships/marriage doesn't make it on the Grapevine.

So, clarification - I'm open to relationships and marriage.  And I wasn't making light of marriage or people in a serious relationship; that kind of dedication is admirable.  Simply speaking for myself though, I'm not at a point in my life where that is a top priority.

At my peers' and my age, we're still changing, deciding what kind of person we want to become.  If I find the right person, then of course, I'd want to make things work.  Until then, I am comfortable doin' my own thang, and enjoying the freedom of not being 'attached'!

Afterall, going out with someone just for the fun of it, finding out what you like and don't like, is what this period in life is for!

"...'cause girls just wanna have funnn, oh, girls just wanna have fun..."

;) that is all.

Insomnia on a Monday

"When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep, and you're never really awake."

- Fight Club

Am naturally a creature of the night and enjoy the time between 11pm - dawn because it can be wild or calming, and is completely magical either way.  Since waking up at 5:30 am everyday recently however, mornings have really grown on me.
So now the dilemma is - I don't want to sleep at all.  So much to explore, do, and experience, and so little time!

Eminem, Comedian

Ah, Eminem.  Pop-culture commentary at its best.  Much of his work is vulgar, childish, and based on shock factor - it makes people outraged and squeamish, because for some, it is a reflection of a side that they dare not reveal. There’s a lot of truth behind what the lyrics convey, and how the public reacts to his work is a commentary in itself.

If Eminem ever retired from rapping, I think he’d be a stellar comedian. As shown through his albums, he’s got a way with words, he’s got the sarcasm and the observant part down… and after coming across the following clips, one can see that Em’s got the timing/performance aspect as well.
But apparently he’s already been told that, as mentioned in his lyrics (“Marshall, you’re so funny man, you should be a comedian, **ddamn”).      ;]

Eminem Teaches Jimmy Kimmel how to Rap (embedding disabled, find clip HERE)

and...

Countdown

----- EDIT (an unrelated mind-ramble) -----

Science, art, entrepreneurship.  Traveling, writing, drifting… yes, I want my cake, and to eat it too.  To be at all places, all at once.  To live one life, and then another, and another…

… if you could visit your FAVORITE amusement park once in your entire life, and you only had time for ONE ride, which one would you choose?  Witty solutions from readers aside, I suppose the answer would vary depending on the person. 

For me, there’s more than one ride I’d like to go on, but long waiting times for each!  (No fast-passes in life, drats).  There’s so much I want to accomplish within a certain time-frame. 

Being vague here because it is the internet after all, but I do have specific goals in mind.  These goals are not a dreamer’s fantasy, without foundation… obviously, to be good at something one must FOCUS on that specific area.  Knowing this is frustrating at times; I would like to accomplish so much, plus not be half-assed about each endeavor, but to give each my all (ironic wording, much?).

*note:  When I say “accomplish”, the aim is finishing the task, not money or fame (though they are sometimes side-effects).  It just feels like there’s so much to put out into the world; so much potential for creating and destroying.  (The wonderful thing is that everyone has great potential, but that’s a conversation for another day).  Like getting your hands on buckets and buckets of paint – it would be boring to just let them sit there, or to merely paint a house… a more entertaining choice would be to splatter the walls/floor/ceiling/people with the paint *grin*. 

Recently, to avoid starting many goals but finishing none, I have been reminding myself to be patient, and to take things one step at a time; that with hard work, all that needs to be accomplished will be, in their own due time. 

Been paring down on a lot of things already; setting aside the less time-dependent goals for later… like accepting that learning a new language will not be possible anytime soon as my hands are already full; gotta look at the big picture.  Currently, have decided on 2 (okay, 2.5) main, career-related goals to focus on.  Bring it.

Through the Looking Glass

Went to visit a loved one at the rehab center (for people recovering/living with injury/illness) a few weeks back. We were waiting at the sidewalk of the loading zone for the transportation van to come.

There were other people in wheelchairs, waiting in groups for their transportation van. Some were talking amongst themselves, a few were lost in their own world, and others were people-watching; a generally pleasant atmosphere. My group was conversing, laughing; the usual shenanigans for a close-knit bunch.

But then I felt these eyes, this unnamable energy. So I looked around for who it might be coming from. Apart and further inside the curb sat a lone elderly man, watching us; it was his vibe I had felt.

His eyes were still on the surface, tumultuous within. He had a shock of thinning white hair, and his skin was creped paper and colored with age spots. The man’s frame suggested that he must have been sturdy and wiry once. Now his thinning body was neatly bundled up in a forest-green fleece zip-up. His presence was quiet and dignified as he sat, hands on his lap and elbows resting on the arms of his wheelchair. One hand held a simple brown paper bag, another clutched a walking cane.

He stared as our group joked and jostled good-naturedly. I tried to brush him off as just another casual observer, tried supposing that he was only simply thinking about what he would have for lunch and that his eyes had happened to rest upon our group. But all the while his presence was completely different from the others that waited around us; his eyes lost, yet alert, soaking up the love and interaction that perhaps seemed familiar.

A while later, the man’s van came and he was, curiously, its lone passenger. As the vehicle pulled out I could see from the corner of my eye, his singular silhouette, back upright, hands neatly holding his brown paper bag and cane.  Proud as he was, his head still turned slightly to catch a last glimpse of us.  The intensity of his lonely gaze burned through the window as the van drove away.